the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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