She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
What drink are we having for lunch?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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