My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
