I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
