I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
