i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
