don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
