new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
