Is it normal to miss your booty call?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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