Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize