): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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