he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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