belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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