I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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