u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
