You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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