seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
