just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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