Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
smell my finger.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
