Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
