You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
