Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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