Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
