Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
do nipples grow back?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
