So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
