it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
