I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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