If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
