it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
