Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
they need to just BURY HIM!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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