I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
