when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
