never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
