so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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