she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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