This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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