If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it was like eating out sand paper
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
