Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
