She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
