She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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