What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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