Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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