We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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