I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
