And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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