Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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