It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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