paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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