Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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