You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
